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My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.
Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.
Apology for my silliness and various other stories
Why do I go all ‘hater’ on romance and sex and religion? LOL am I just jealous because I get none of those things? mustbeit. I don’t know why I’m an ignorant fool, but I now realize how I should become more open-minded. I believe that I have been almost dramatically more open-minded in the space of the past year compared to most of the rest of my life prior to said period of time, but I still as of yet have not reached the ‘severe’ end of the Open-mindedness Scale.
Well, on a rather unrealted note, I like night-time. It is the only section of the day when approx. 75% of the population are renderered camatose and this is thought of as a Very Holy Thing. This means that people are much more quiet than they usually are and the SOUTHERN Hemisphere has the illusion of peacefulness for at least a few hours. there is unfortunately not very much one can do at 1:30AM. so I decided to flee the comforts of my chair, and see what was happening outside. After scaring a family of sleeping ducks and various other night-lurking beasts, I managed to stumble over to a tree. After taking a series of photos which, whilst seeming to be the product of a pure photographic genius, are on second viewing, hideously boring and underexposed due to the flash setting, which I now realised was never actually employed in the taking of my latest photos. OH NO.
Well now I am back in my nice chair, my mind thouroughly Shpongled. Are You Shpongled? Oh, dear sleep deprivation, I will one day end your madness.
Sex
Due to my recent discovery that I will be forced to endure Sex Education, I feel inspired to write a blog entry about my views on sex. I do not know that much about sex, so I may get some information wrong. However, I don’t give a shit because this entry is the product of my philosophical thinking sessions and is therefore not to be criticized by anyone who is not me.
Okay. Basically, I do not have a ‘sexuality’ (I am not ‘attracted’ to people of any gender at all, nor am I attracted to animals, objects, or whatever else one can be attracted to). Despite what many people tell me, I am not going to meet the ‘right person’ and suddenly change, and I am not going to wake up one morning and find myself interested in any sort of romantic/sexual relationship.
I was wondering why people are so interested in the act of sexual intercourse, and came up with a theory. Sexual intercourse is obviously the main method of human reproduction, and from what I can imagine from the facts given to me, it would be a painful process if it weren’t for the pleasure that apparently is a result of it. If humans did not receive pleasure from the act of sexual intercourse (and also if they didn’t have the biological urge/instinct to have sex), then perhaps they would see no incentive for this behaviour (other than for procreation) and there would be an increased chance of the human population dying out. This applies to other species of animals besides humans, but this text is intended to be about humans. To put it simply, sex is pleasurable so you will engage in it. It is, I assume, a product of evolution. Because humans feel the need to have sex for reasons other than procreation (this occurs quite frequently in adolescent specimens), the risk of human overpopulation dramatically increases. I like to think that evolution created sexually transmitted diseases to combat this. I don’t care if this isn’t the reason, that is just what I like to think.
But seriously, what is the point in having sex unless you’re aiming to reproduce? (which there is no need to in these modern and overpopulated times). I personally believe that teenagers should be subjected to anti-sex indoctrination to prevent humanity from continuing its destructive quest to create multiple copies and destroy the Earth in the process. I will attempt to explain this to my dear teacher, but I have a feeling she will either a)disagree, b)not understand or perhaps a combination of both.
In regards to sex education, if I don’t understand something, don’t feel the need to participate in something, or don’t support something, I won’t do it, so there is no point in teaching me how to put a condom onto a plastic phallus-shaped object.
I believe that homosexuals, breeders, bisexuals, transexuals, and transvestites should have equal rights, but for things such as marriage, why do they seriously care? The statistics suggest that most marriages fail, and I don’t like it when people suggest that marriage is a ‘human right’. It is not a human right. If you think it is, then you seriously need to get your priorities right. If you also think that millions of dollars should be waste- uh...spent on sports and olympics, then you need to get your priorities right. Sorry for being tangential, but I quite enjoy ranting.
Good night.
